Okay, school has started and the real estate business has slowed to a Halt. So I have been catching up on a few "to do's". I have spent more time at the cemetery visiting Bailey and I finally went by the funeral home to look into ordering the headstone for Bailey, this was a huge step for me. I managed to hold myself together until I got to the car. So not fair, I am 36 years old and deciding if my daughters headstone should be gray or pink.
But I am a list maker and this helps me to feel accomplished.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
History of Bailey
Let me catch you up.
We were married for 3 years and in 1998 we had our son Cody, and all went really well. He is a happy kid and all he wanted was a brother or sister, so after 3+years of trying and dealing with infertility I found out I was pregnant in Jan of 06, we were thrilled. And it was going to be a girl, when I went in for my 28th week check up there was no heartbeat, and my son cody was there with me. We knew something was wrong and they took him out of the room. I lost it, how could this be happening to us, after all we had been through. I had to call my husband and tell him there was no heartbeat and the baby had died. I had to tell my son that God decided he needed his angel early. What a crappy way for someone to loose their innocence about life and death at 7 years old. I still have the vision of his face of concern when I walked into the room, he knew. The next day they induced labor and I delivered Bailey Louise K. I chose not to see her, something I really regret to this day, but I did have my DH stay with her and hold her,thank god, and the hospital took many pics of her, that I finally looked at about 3 months after, she looked like my son did as a baby.
So we have gotten thru the first year, and I am just now starting to see some hope for the future, yet we are still trying to get pregnant again, almost a year but infertility is a bitch and several thousand dollars later we are still not pregnant. But I still try.
We were married for 3 years and in 1998 we had our son Cody, and all went really well. He is a happy kid and all he wanted was a brother or sister, so after 3+years of trying and dealing with infertility I found out I was pregnant in Jan of 06, we were thrilled. And it was going to be a girl, when I went in for my 28th week check up there was no heartbeat, and my son cody was there with me. We knew something was wrong and they took him out of the room. I lost it, how could this be happening to us, after all we had been through. I had to call my husband and tell him there was no heartbeat and the baby had died. I had to tell my son that God decided he needed his angel early. What a crappy way for someone to loose their innocence about life and death at 7 years old. I still have the vision of his face of concern when I walked into the room, he knew. The next day they induced labor and I delivered Bailey Louise K. I chose not to see her, something I really regret to this day, but I did have my DH stay with her and hold her,thank god, and the hospital took many pics of her, that I finally looked at about 3 months after, she looked like my son did as a baby.
So we have gotten thru the first year, and I am just now starting to see some hope for the future, yet we are still trying to get pregnant again, almost a year but infertility is a bitch and several thousand dollars later we are still not pregnant. But I still try.
How do I start
Okay, I have decided that I need to do this for me, and if no ones reads this that is fine by me. But after my loss I realized how much I needed to read other blogs when I was having a rough day. So I thought that I would start one.
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